Yes, that was a Cake reference. So, last night some Halloween ghosts decided to fly away with my phone. It's my fault. I think I either left it on the table at the bar or in the taxi. It's probably already been sold on the black market, but I'm trying not to give up hope. There are honest people out there, right? And surely my taxi driver will remember a blonde gringa dressed up as La Catrina?
Losing your first real smartphone with all your pictures and videos messages from family and friends when you've just moved to a new country (and are having trouble adjusting) has actually been pretty traumatizing. I literally spent all day turning my apartment upside down hoping to find it. I looked in the pillows, under the bed, under the couch cushions, in the closet-- even in the fridge.
It's not the phone. It's what on it. So many memories. The irony is that my mini-memory card has been full for awhile now, so I have been to the ONE store in the nearby mall that sells them for the past two days in an effort to buy a new one. And? They've been out both days. Had I just been able to replace the card a day or two ago, my phone would have been much less filled with memories. Odd to think of it that way (and probably not the healthiest), but I have to get it out. I've always been told not to "should" on yourself. I should have done this, I should have done that. I should have bought a new mini-memory card, but I couldn't. So there's no "should" there, right?
Racking my brain about what I've lost. How many photos did I say I was going to put on Dropbox and just never did? Checked my Dropbox and have good collection on there from the past year, so that's something. But the videos of my nephew (now in 3rd grade) as he was proudly singing me a song with the names of all the states?
So today I tried to suspend my number by chatting with a support person from my CR provider online. They couldn't do it by phone, so I had to go to a store. I walk to the store and am told they can do nothing for me without my passport, since I got the phone with my passport. So I walk back home and return to the mall with my passport. By the way, when you enter any cell phone store in CR, women have to open their handbags and men are scanned with a handheld scanner. Security is intense and it makes me uneasy. Much like the endless fences and barbed wire... it's all very unsettling. Especially when you are constantly told how "peaceful" CR is and constantly reminded of the fact they abolished their army in 1948.
My calendar is also gone. Everything was on that app. Let's hope I get reminders for all the appointments I had coming up. And the notes app? I had SO much on there. Don't laugh, but a list of girls' names and boy's names for my future kiddos. A list of all the movies I saw with my ex-boyfriend. A list of positives and negatives about said ex. A list of places I must check out in CR. I know it sounds silly, but these are things that can't be recreated easily. They were created in the moment and reflect the moment in which they were created.
I've been trying to look at setbacks as positives lately. And this is the perfect opportunity. People always used to tell me I was on my phone too much. Losing it has seriously made me feel like I'm without a limb. But going back to my "dumb phone" (a non-smartphone) has made me check it less. There is no internet. There is no Facebook (in another stroke of irony, today was the day I returned to FB from my month-long hiatus and I was going to post pics of everything I did over the month of October). So I'm trying to find some positivity in this. Maybe I will be less reliant on my phone, which will allow me to focus more on the people directly in front of me and nurturing my relationships with them.
Part of me wants to scour sites like craigslist here in CR (and, yes, I already have) and try to buy my own phone back. But everything I've read says not to take stuff like this into your own hands. As I've mentioned before though, everything is SO expensive here. I checked today at the Samsung store, and my Galaxy S4 is $591. I found a used one online for $281 and am thinking about getting that, but how do I know I'm not buying a stolen phone that has also been deactivated?
I know this probably has not been the most interesting of posts. But I just had to get this off my chest. How reliant we are on technology. The meaning and the value that we place in the phone we have. How much time we spend staring at and swiping on a small screen instead of building relationships. Is it all worth it? I know people say memories are better than pictures, but I seriously have a shite memory and need those reminders of the past. But I also have an issue with focusing too much on the past, so maybe this is some twisted blessing in disguise. An erasure of the past year... if you will.
Wish me strength.
XO,
t
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