Two Realizations

1. I have to be happy by myself/ with myself before I can be happy with someone else.
2. I have to be able to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else.

As much as I'm happy for my gorgeous married friends and their beautiful babies, I know I'm more than a bit jealous too. Wasn't I supposed to have all of that by now? I'm smart. (Everyday.) I'm pretty. (Most days.) So what gives? In my heart of hearts though, I know that, if I were dropped in their shoes tomorrow, I'd have no idea what to do. You mean I'm no longer the center of my own Universe? That I HAVE to take care of someone else? That some small little amazing someone depends on me to meet their every basic need? Guess I can't just move to a foreign country on a whim. Guess there are other people in this equation.

The Universe has a plan for me, as silly and convoluted as it may seem to me now. Like nothing is working out the way it's "supposed" to and that I'm behind on whatever I'm "scheduled" to be accomplishing at this age. But maybe this delay is happening for a reason. Perhaps so, when I finally do find love, I will appreciate it that much more because I have been waiting for it that much longer.

One day, I'll finally be able to say: "The wait is over now."

xo,

tes