Lately, I've become obsessed with "Orange is the New Black" (yes, better late than never), and an exchange on the episode I watched tonight really hit home:
"Have you guys ever noticed that, once you're a couple, you pretty much only hang out with other couples?"
"A guy, a girl, and another guy? It just looks weird."
"People just probably assume you're divorced."
"Oh. Great. So I look divorced. Which conveys sadness and ex-wife shit and lawyer's fees or I look single. 34 and single. Which must just mean there's something wrong with me."
I am 34. Never married, but left a long-term boyfriend to pursue my dream to teach at an international school in a Spanish-speaking country.
Welcome to the thought process I work to avoid daily.
Pura Vida!
XO
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Communicating in Circles/ "Americans"
So Ticos are not the most "direct" of folks. As a cultural generalization, people here tend to shy away from conflict. So, if you ask someone to do something for you and they really cannot, it is unlikely to get a direct "no." Instead, they will talk in circles and let you know they "may" be able to and... "oh, by the way, how is your family?" Americans here are seen as overly direct. If Ticos speak in circles, then we speak in a straight line.
As a side-note, many Ticos get fired up about the use of the word "Americans" for people from the United States. Why? Because "we are all Americans," meaning people from South America, Central America, and North America are Americans. Unfortunately, it's part of the lexicon for those of us from the United States of AMERICA and not something that will easily go away. I get their argument. Truly, I do. In fact, when my students first expressed their discontent with my use (and CNN's use) of the term "Americans" to describe people from the US, I tried to tiptoe around their delicate sensitivity and adjust my vocabulary accordingly.
But, let's face it, there's no comparable term that rolls off the tongue like "American." There is no "United States-ian," and no one wants to say "someone from the United States" over and over. So, I'm sorry, but I will continue to say "American" for someone from the US. The important thing to consider here is the INTENT behind the usage. If I'm intending to offend, then that's no good. But if I'm using a common word I've grown up with to describe people from my country, then I'm fine.
Get over it. Pura vida, right?
As a side-note, many Ticos get fired up about the use of the word "Americans" for people from the United States. Why? Because "we are all Americans," meaning people from South America, Central America, and North America are Americans. Unfortunately, it's part of the lexicon for those of us from the United States of AMERICA and not something that will easily go away. I get their argument. Truly, I do. In fact, when my students first expressed their discontent with my use (and CNN's use) of the term "Americans" to describe people from the US, I tried to tiptoe around their delicate sensitivity and adjust my vocabulary accordingly.
But, let's face it, there's no comparable term that rolls off the tongue like "American." There is no "United States-ian," and no one wants to say "someone from the United States" over and over. So, I'm sorry, but I will continue to say "American" for someone from the US. The important thing to consider here is the INTENT behind the usage. If I'm intending to offend, then that's no good. But if I'm using a common word I've grown up with to describe people from my country, then I'm fine.
Get over it. Pura vida, right?
Monday, October 20, 2014
A positive for every negative, right?
1. NEGATIVE: The infrastructure here SUCKS. The roads are SHITE. Potholes, poor quality, you name it. And consistent, even sidewalks to prevent you from having to walk on a busy street? Forget about it. And did I mention the streets (somewhat) have names but NO ONE uses them? The way you give directions (and addresses) is by your location in relation to a major landmark. The cafe I went to on Sunday is "120 meters west of the French Alliance." My apartments are "close to PriceSmart." Really? Think there might be a more efficient way to do things, kids?
2. POSITIVE: Salsa Lizano is really yummy and they put it on everything. And they came out with a "Suave" version with menus sal y menus grasa! Sorry for the Spanglish, but it's what I'm feeling.
3. NEGATIVE: Speaking of infrastructure, my apartment didn't have hot water for the first two weeks. Because they use old school water heaters. (Or, even better and with the added bonus of potential electrocution, is the electric heater PLUGGED IN to your shower head. All that stuff about water and electricity not mixing well? Yeah, just push that out of your mind.)
But wait, the apartment fun continues! It's a pretty awesome feeling to open your silverware drawer and see baby cockroaches just scurrying around. But apparently, no big deal. It's Costa Rica! We're tropical! So they fumigated my place today and, as an additional favor not to poison me, they put all of my silverware and dishes in the... fridge. Chilled glasses... I'm fancy like that.
4. POSITIVE: The Ticos LOVE themselves some 80's music. Maybe because it's perpetually 1995 here? Reasoning aside, I dig the 80's, so getting to hear the music AND watch the videos when I'm out can take the edge off the aforementioned negatives.
5. NEGATIVE: "Tico Time." You arrive promptly (my fault) for a 4:30 appointment and are not helped until 5:20.
6. POSITIVE: Nice people. After aforementioned tardy appointment, I was given a ride instead of walking because it wouldn't have been "safe" for me to walk alone. In retrospect, I'd have to agree. Tall, blonde, pretty, gringa, with an awesome new haircut and messenger bag with a MacBook and a designer bag with a smartphone and some dinero...
Back to grading. Hope tonight includes my first HOT shower in two weeks and NO cockroaches on my silverware.
A girl can dream,
tes
2. POSITIVE: Salsa Lizano is really yummy and they put it on everything. And they came out with a "Suave" version with menus sal y menus grasa! Sorry for the Spanglish, but it's what I'm feeling.
3. NEGATIVE: Speaking of infrastructure, my apartment didn't have hot water for the first two weeks. Because they use old school water heaters. (Or, even better and with the added bonus of potential electrocution, is the electric heater PLUGGED IN to your shower head. All that stuff about water and electricity not mixing well? Yeah, just push that out of your mind.)
But wait, the apartment fun continues! It's a pretty awesome feeling to open your silverware drawer and see baby cockroaches just scurrying around. But apparently, no big deal. It's Costa Rica! We're tropical! So they fumigated my place today and, as an additional favor not to poison me, they put all of my silverware and dishes in the... fridge. Chilled glasses... I'm fancy like that.
4. POSITIVE: The Ticos LOVE themselves some 80's music. Maybe because it's perpetually 1995 here? Reasoning aside, I dig the 80's, so getting to hear the music AND watch the videos when I'm out can take the edge off the aforementioned negatives.
5. NEGATIVE: "Tico Time." You arrive promptly (my fault) for a 4:30 appointment and are not helped until 5:20.
6. POSITIVE: Nice people. After aforementioned tardy appointment, I was given a ride instead of walking because it wouldn't have been "safe" for me to walk alone. In retrospect, I'd have to agree. Tall, blonde, pretty, gringa, with an awesome new haircut and messenger bag with a MacBook and a designer bag with a smartphone and some dinero...
Back to grading. Hope tonight includes my first HOT shower in two weeks and NO cockroaches on my silverware.
A girl can dream,
tes
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Dating. In a foreign language. Double the fun.
I broke up with my long-term boyfriend about a month into being here (though realistically it was more so the moment I stepped out of his car at the airport). Understandably, he was mad at me for not including him in my life plans to move abroad. He said it should have been a "we" decision and not just a "me" decision. But we were very different, and I don't think he's the type to pick up and leave all things comforting and familiar behind.
You hear all kinds of stereotypes about Tico guys. That they're possessive. Machismo. Cheaters. The first guy I met, sadly, didn't prove any of these to be untrue. He told me he had an "ex-girlfriend" in another country and they had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it came to dating other people. He then asked me if he could keep me a "secret." Two scenarios came to mind: 1) She's not actually in another country, or 2) she's not actually an "ex."
And... on to the next!
You hear all kinds of stereotypes about Tico guys. That they're possessive. Machismo. Cheaters. The first guy I met, sadly, didn't prove any of these to be untrue. He told me he had an "ex-girlfriend" in another country and they had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it came to dating other people. He then asked me if he could keep me a "secret." Two scenarios came to mind: 1) She's not actually in another country, or 2) she's not actually an "ex."
And... on to the next!
Saturday, October 18, 2014
First Post... vamanos!
On Monday, I will have been here for three months. Must say, the experience has been much different than I had anticipated. I am teaching at a very prestigious private school and I feel extremely lucky to be teaching where I am (I actually look forward to going to work everyday). However, until I arrived, I had only seen images of the best of the best (which my school is). But every time I told anyone back home in the States I was moving to Costa Rica, people had one of two reactions:
1) "Oh my god! So jealous! I/ we just LOVE Costa Rica! We went there on vacation/ for our honeymoon and it's SO beautiful. Plus, you're going to save SO much money! Wish I had the freedom you do to just pick up and move!"
2) "You sure? Costa Rica is pretty much a third world country. You ready for that? You're a girly girl, uber-educated, and coming from a big city. Let me know how it goes!"
To be honest, thus far it's been somewhere in the middle. For starters, everything you hear about CR being cheaper is a LIE. I can count the things that are cheaper than in the States on one hand and, so far, they are:
1) Movie tickets ($5)
2) Apartment rent (less than $600/month for a one bedroom... but everything is old to the point that you want to super-sanitize)
3) Taxis (between $4-6 for most rides... but I'm from the midwest... not a cab culture)
4) Salon visits ($40 for a cut, color, blow-dry, and flat iron or $20 for a cut, blow-dry, and flat iron)
Everything else? More expensive. Yup, a six pack of local beer is more or less $9 and a can of (imported) Campbell's Soup is $6. I kid you not. Anyone who tells you that you can SAVE money in CR is full of it. (PS: Just did a price check at the "mid-level" grocery and -yes, imported- a 12 pack of Coors Light cans is $15 and of bottles is $19.) Pura vida!
I have so many feelings about San Jose. I will begin by saying it is the absolute WORST part of Costa Rica. It's dirty, it's filled with all kinds of shady characters, and (possibly as a result) ALL buildings are protected not only by multiple gates and locks but also by barbed wire as well. Not exactly the "Pura Vida" welcoming CR you had been expecting, no?
The city truly feels like a prison. Very patchwork. A nice neighborhood of condos aside a ghetto filled with homes of made of cardboard boxes and tin. It's unpredictable yet predictable and, overall, very sad. That is why I try to get out of SJ any chance I get. I feel the true beauty and heart of CR lies outside of its icky capital. But one must learn to delineate between the crappy tourist/ uber-American cities (such as Jaco and Tamarindo) and the genuinely beautiful, welcoming spots (Playa Hermosa, Puerto Viejo, etc).
As I mentioned, I'm only at my three month mark. I realize I have a lot more to learn. But these are my preliminary observations. Take them or leave them for what they're worth.
Pura vida,
t
1) "Oh my god! So jealous! I/ we just LOVE Costa Rica! We went there on vacation/ for our honeymoon and it's SO beautiful. Plus, you're going to save SO much money! Wish I had the freedom you do to just pick up and move!"
2) "You sure? Costa Rica is pretty much a third world country. You ready for that? You're a girly girl, uber-educated, and coming from a big city. Let me know how it goes!"
To be honest, thus far it's been somewhere in the middle. For starters, everything you hear about CR being cheaper is a LIE. I can count the things that are cheaper than in the States on one hand and, so far, they are:
1) Movie tickets ($5)
2) Apartment rent (less than $600/month for a one bedroom... but everything is old to the point that you want to super-sanitize)
3) Taxis (between $4-6 for most rides... but I'm from the midwest... not a cab culture)
4) Salon visits ($40 for a cut, color, blow-dry, and flat iron or $20 for a cut, blow-dry, and flat iron)
Everything else? More expensive. Yup, a six pack of local beer is more or less $9 and a can of (imported) Campbell's Soup is $6. I kid you not. Anyone who tells you that you can SAVE money in CR is full of it. (PS: Just did a price check at the "mid-level" grocery and -yes, imported- a 12 pack of Coors Light cans is $15 and of bottles is $19.) Pura vida!
I have so many feelings about San Jose. I will begin by saying it is the absolute WORST part of Costa Rica. It's dirty, it's filled with all kinds of shady characters, and (possibly as a result) ALL buildings are protected not only by multiple gates and locks but also by barbed wire as well. Not exactly the "Pura Vida" welcoming CR you had been expecting, no?
The city truly feels like a prison. Very patchwork. A nice neighborhood of condos aside a ghetto filled with homes of made of cardboard boxes and tin. It's unpredictable yet predictable and, overall, very sad. That is why I try to get out of SJ any chance I get. I feel the true beauty and heart of CR lies outside of its icky capital. But one must learn to delineate between the crappy tourist/ uber-American cities (such as Jaco and Tamarindo) and the genuinely beautiful, welcoming spots (Playa Hermosa, Puerto Viejo, etc).
As I mentioned, I'm only at my three month mark. I realize I have a lot more to learn. But these are my preliminary observations. Take them or leave them for what they're worth.
Pura vida,
t
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